"when the flame flickers" is a short descriptive entry of a situation regarding a relationship that has entered into marriage. where in the text shows the reality that there would be a certain low point of a relationship that a couple could reach. back in college, our bioethics professor made us write an essay regarding the situation that is given. in this entry, the italicized part, pertains to "when the flame flickers " and the questions to be answered. and for the normal upright text is my original writing. by the way the art work was made by my mom, she's like a fashion designer in her own right. any way, situation goes as follows...
She looks radiant in her white chiffon gown, draped with lace—her wispy veil unable to hide her excitement. He looks handsome in his barong—striking, strong, and full of anticipation as he awaits the arrival of his bride at the front of the church where they will officially join their lives together. The ceremony and celebration of this moment are fit for the coronation of a prince and his princess.
But this is not the wedding of royalty. Similar customs and emotions happen every day all over the world. A man and a woman merge their lives with the highest of expectations, and seal it with a kiss. This is the drama of countless movies and novels, poems and plays, tales and legends. Two people give themselves to each other and then live happily ever after. Or do they?
While everyone seems to love a wedding, many are skeptical of marriage. The suspicions are deserved. Disappointment predictably invades every relationship. Disillusionment erodes the hopes of couples who once stood at an altar and pledged themselves “till death us do part.”
Too often, shattered dreams and broken hearts show up at a courthouse to dissolve in pain what began with such promise. With alarming frequency, damaged relationships are disowned like pieces of old furniture. Sometimes there’s no other choice.. but to let go????
The feelings are gone it seems the rivers run dry. You never imagined it could turn out so rough. You give and give and give and still it's never enough. Your emotions have vanished that once held a thrill, you wonder if love could be alive in you still. The ring on your finger was put there to stay, will you forget the words you promised ? If you get married, will you let go when the feelings are gone?
my opinion/answer: If I get married, will I let go when the feelings are gone?
Certainly, I will never let go
When I was young, I had this principle that I would like to stand on until the day I get married or maybe until the day I die. I said to my self that there is nothing wrong with having crushes, however my hopeless romantic side pushes me to love only one person, and as a promise, she would be the one I will work hand in hand with and be fallen in love with. Too idealistic may it seem, I promised that the lady I will ask to be my girlfriend will be the one that I will fall in love with forever, and that person is the one I’ll be waiting down the aisle.
My parents taught me lots things, specially those things that I can’t actually learn from school. One of the lessons they inculcated to my life, is to learn how to love another person, judging them for who they are and not for who their backgrounds (family, economic, et cetera) may be. Also, as the lessons of life deepen, my expectations matures regarding whom I will love. I had my fair share, I understand that love now days is just a sudden burst of feelings. What is more important is that the love I would feel for whom I would choose to be with, and that is the love of friendship.
I understand that one day, there would be no physical attraction left, no more fertile stages, lots of pre-menopausal syndrome, lots of undecided decisions, abundant misunderstandings and no more love as defined by modern times. But for me the love of friendship still prevails. When time comes that the feelings are gone, friendship still blends with the universal harmony. With that philosophy, nothing could justify the action of letting go.
If I got married, I probably took the vow of till death do us part. In laymen term I submitted my self to a never ending battle that death is the only reasonable factor that may make me and my partner do us part. I stand by my principle and I firmly believe that letting go is just an act of the cowardice. Having the certain notion of the feelings are fading is a very common sight about married couples. If one would dwell upon those feelings, nothing could absolutely be achieved.
Can anyone imagine what could have happened if his or her parents gave up despite their own hardships? Probably if that thing happened, that person evaluating might not have existed in this world. Hey, isn’t it that married couples who are in the midst of hardships is given a tongue to speak and ears to listen, isn’t it a communication process, plus an additional factor that one could ask guidance from a supreme being. Again, making weakness, irrationality and impulse unjustifiable, so what’s the use and the point of letting go?
Absolutely I am getting ready for that stage in life. Yes I will try my very best to evade such circumstances. But being prepared for the worst makes life anchored for the better.
I am currently, deeply and faithfully in love, which I must say I am sure that one time I’ll be waiting for her while she is walking down the aisle. In this stage of life, until we get married, we keep on fighting. But if it is to let go, before the marriage, for love I will do so. But after matrimony and the blessing of the good Lord, count me out, I will never make any reason for I will never, ever let go.
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| this gown design was made by my mom :) and the concept for the barong was from me |
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